Naughty nuns and fucking under "The" cross...

So, now, a few months in and a few good and few bad experiences into, this whole swinging scene, I'd like to highlight something that still totally baffles me. Perhaps it's just because of my upbringing in the Southern Baptist Christian denomination, but I will never forget the looks of absolute confused horror when when my lover and I walked into the house of the first couple that we met through sls.com and found a bookcase prominently displayed in their living room which resembled a bookshelf found at your local Christian bookstore (a bookstore which is fairly opposite of the bookstore pictured to the right).

This couple was apparently very active in their local church; her dad is a deacon and their children are being raised to be good little Sunday School Christians. And yet this couple claimed to want to want to get to know us; in the biblical sense (pun intended, Lol).

No where in the Christainity in which I was raised is there room for swinging. In fact, just coveting, the "wanting of," your neighbor's wife is a sin tantamount to murder in their god's eyes. People are branded whores if they have sex outside of a god-sanctioned marriage. And, adultery is punishable by death in the Bible. Yet this couple wanted to get completely naked with us (NOT part of their wedded coupleness) and fuck like bunnies in their king-sized bed under the watchful eyes of a tortured and dying man? I would like someone to explain to me how the mental chasm is breached.

How does a person honestly and actively practice a religion in which it's preached that so little as lusting after anyone can land you in hell for all eternity and yet meet up with couple after couple for the express purpose of breaking all moral laws that your religion teaches?

How can a man forward "come-to-jesus" emails and texts interspersed with his "can't wait to fuck your pretty little red head off" texts to me (a complete stranger and definitely NOT his wife) with a good conscious?

Talk about a total dichotomy.

Needless to say for many reasons, we did not swing with this couple. The moral confusion they exuded every day was enough of a turn off that we were about ready to just take playing with them in the bedroom off the table before things went wrong on so many other levels as well.

Now, I have absolutely no problem with any religion so long as you aren't forcing it down my throat. Christianity, while not for me, has done a lot of good for a lot of people, and more power to you if you have found a spiritual path that works for you. 

BUT, you cannot expect me to want to fuck you if you tell me me in one breath that you "can just tell I'm angling for a hard spanking" and the next minute talk about your church's Sunday services and how meaningful they are to your family. 

I prefer my fucking without the side helping of hellfire and guilt, thanks.

The only religion that I want in my bedroom is a naughty nun costume... ;-)

Nice and red: red and nice.

Got a nice glow going on tonight....

Love the little heart at the bottom right there...

Such strong hands on a sexy man...

The Evil Stick really earns it's name...

Sexual Labeling

I've been forced to re-evaluate my sexuality lately due to some really FUN evenings I've had here lately that have involved non-cock having people. I've always been comfortable with my label of "straight girl" even tho  I've always done things like decorate my house with female nudes, watch a lot of bisexual porn, etc...

My man says that "all women have a little sugar in their gas tanks, the only difference is the amount." And, while I do believe there are some truly straight women out there, I think he is right in that majority of women are a little flexible when it comes to sexuality. One of the many reasons that I agree with him is because, if you ask a room full of random people which Hollywood actor/actress of the SAME sex they would want to fuck, you will have to wait on all men to hem and haw, and discuss whether they would have to be the fucker or the fuckee, try and decide which actor looks the most like a chick, and generally try everything they can to get out of answering the question. BUT all the women in the room will have an answer almost immediately. They have thought about this before and have a woman in their mind that they want to see naked and want to play with - even the "straight" women. Personally, as I've said before, I've always had a crush on Catherine Zeta Jones.

So, anyways, I've decided to change my label from "straight" to "heteroflexible" after the past few evenings of swinging fun with our new friends with benefits (and, yes, there is a lot more fun going on then "Swinging Horrors" may have let on, Lol).  Heteroflexible is a new term to me, but I came across it the other day on fetlife.com and loved it. It seemed to encompass everything that I consider myself without the parts of the label bisexual that don't fit me at all. But since labels are all really meaningless and vague unless everyone is on the same page regarding them, I'm going to take a minute here to define all the levels of bi-ness that I've come across in my talks and experiences with women (and while I'm using these labels regarding women, they are completely gender-interchangable - just put "man" where I've typed "woman" and you should be good to go).

Homophobic: This is the uber-straight of the straight women. This woman is almost afraid of any touch from another woman (even strictly platonic). These women rarely touch other women more then a handshake and even the thought of being in a same bed swinging situation is "revolting" to them. We met one couple where the wife could easily have been labeled with this; she rarely so much as hugged me goodbye, and we were one of the few couples they had met as she really preferred to only have threesomes with her husband and other guys. And if they had met couples it was usually a separate room type of swinging because of her and that just would never work for my man and I (we like to watch each other, touch each other, kiss each other and generally just be with each other during sex even when we've invited others to join our playtime; being in separate rooms defeats the whole purpose). We never actually swung with this couple, mainly because of her attitude towards everything and everyone involved.

Straight: This is the label that most women (outside of the swinging scene and some of them in the lifestyle) choose for themselves. It means that the woman has no interest in being sexual with another women. Nothing that would be considered foreplay with a man would be done with a woman. No cuddling, kissing, or anything - but the woman isn't necessarily afraid of being in sexual situations with another female body present. When I was swinging in a previous relationship, we met a couple where the woman was "straight." We rented a hotel room for the evening with two beds and we "couple swapped" each staying in our separate beds. Occasionally the men would tag team one or the other of us, and while we both enjoyed watching the other woman getting fucked by two men (often from only a few inches away from the action), there was no direct interaction between her and I.

Bi-Curious: This is the label that women pick when they have no experience with other women as of yet, but when they are open to getting some of that experience. They may go out and eat pussy the next chance they get or they may never touch a woman, but they are openminded towards the idea of being with another woman sexually. A bi-curious girl, once she gets enough actual playtime under her belt will usually change her label to either "heteroflexible" or "bisexual" - so this label is more of just a holding place for the open minded then an actual description of what a woman likes sexually (and I know this is probably MY personal definition more-so then what others would use this term to describe).

Heteroflexible: This is where I fall in the sexual spectrum. This is a woman who will do almost anything with another women as long as it's all in a fun playtime type situation. We are NOT attracted to women emotionally at all, and rarely would consider playing with a woman without having a man or men present in the room, but as long as it's a group activity, we are down for anything two women can do to each other. I have played with my girlfuckbuddy a couple times now and it feels so awesome to have my hands on her pussy, to feel her shudder and hear her moan and know that it's ME that is giving her that pleasure. I have always enjoyed kissing females, and hey, close your eyes and you've no idea what gender has gone down on you anyways, so as long as it feels good, it is good.

Bisexual - Women who are bisexual are just that - attracted to both sexes equally. These women could have boyfriends OR girlfriends and in a swinging situation will fuck either gender with equal gusto. Again in the previous swinging relationship I was in, we played with a couple who's female was bisexual. In the end, I couldn't play with them because she was not respectful of any limits/rules I had at the time. Eventually her and I got comfortable enough with each other that we shared her husband on occasion, but we never tried  interacting because whenever we did since she was SO bisexual she couldn't stop herself from crossing all lines and making me uncomfortable. Her bisexuality led to her going out almost weekly and finding some chick to bang. And, when I became single and she would head out for the evening she would call me up and ask that I come entertain her husband for her. We coined the term husband-sitting for my services. Since I was single and not interested in a relationship and she wanted to go find a woman to fuck and her husband didn't want to sit at home alone, but didn't want to worry about taking a random girl home and that chick falling for him and messing up his marriage the situation worked perfectly for all involved.

Lesbian: This woman is basically the same as a straight woman, except replace the man in her life with another woman. She has no interest in interacting with a man, and would only be in a swinging scene with other women, or sharing a woman with the man, but not interacting directly with the men in the room.

Polyamorous: This really isn't a sexuality; it's a lifestyle. But, since so many of the people we've met in the swinging scene are polyamorous as well as whatever other sexual label they claim, I think it deserves it's own section here. You can be any one of the above labels AND polyamorous (or any one of the above labels and emotionally monogamous). Polyamorous women claim to not be able to handle monogamy and that they are able to love more then one person at a time. They often have a boyfriend AND and girlfriend and they may live with one or more of the people they are in relationships with. Sometimes the poly-woman's boyfriend and girlfriend are dating each other as well, so all three pile in the bed every night.

Personally, I cannot fathom feeling the love I have for my man for anyone else. It's because I love him with all my heart that I am able to swing with him and give him other women to enjoy and have his pleasure in fucking them bring me nothing but pleasure. If my heart was divided, then I could not care about him as much as I do, and I could not feel like swinging with him - for if my heart was divided I would live in constant fear that his heart could become divided by one of these women I share his body with and then he and I would not have US anymore. US is too important to both of us to ever risk losing us by dividing our hearts.

But, since we are just a emotionally monogamous swinging couple - we don't have anything to worry about. My man is stoked that I've decided to change my sexual label from straight to heteroflexible... in his words watching my girlfuckbuddy and I go at it it is "scorching and sizzling and just plain awesomeness." I believe that both him and her husband could have sat their on their respective couches and just watched her and I play on the living room rug all evening. But, they eventually left their seats and joined us. It made for a perfect orgy of limbs and cocks and wetness and heat. After awhile you lose track of whose hands are where and the orgasms overshadow the gender of the person with their tongue on your ass.

Floggers on Parade

I have gotten a few new floggers recently and the "Evil Stick" finally came too. My ass feels awesome!

Above, you will see all of our smack-my-bottom toys laid out on top of our dog crate. My man feels so bad about hitting me in front of the three dogs. Two of them run away from him and hide. The third dog (who I've had for six year and who is a total momma's girl) will actually pose up on him and growl ... we quickly learned that "don't worry she likes it" doesn't translate to dog language and we lock them out of the bedroom when certain types of playtime are in session.

Here my man is showing off our new black leather cat-o-nine tails. We actually ordered this from BudK.com for $5.98. It feels nice and stingy - it needs to be broken in some more because it has a tendency to leave black flakes/dyes all over my nice reddened ass. I tried to give my man some homework and told him to start beating the couch and bed and other inanimate objects with it until it stops shedding - which of course let to him reminding me who was boss (very pleasantly to my way of thinking, Lol) and making me to do it myself.

This is the infamous "Evil Stick" which I actually ordered in "Evil Wand" length from the site I linked in an earlier blog. It looks all pretty and delicate, but this little fucker has a stinging bite to it. My man likes to tell me how little effort he is putting into it when he's striking me with this little wooden heart - he holds it between a couple fingers and his thumb and flicks his wrist at me - it leaves a red cane-like welty mark when the rod part hits me and a heart-shaped red mark/bruise where the purple wood meets my ass cheek. Then he will actually put some arm behind it and make me cry out my safe word. Mmm.

You can't tell it in this picture, but the flogger part of this tool is red rubber. It's almost like a bunch of red cooked spaghetti noodles (if noodles were unbreakable). This is my new favorite toy. It's a bit more thuddy then stingy (except where the noodle tips wrap around and get me on the thigh). But, I can take a lot of this particular flogger. It's brings a nice rosy glow to my bottom within a few strokes and the color just keeps deepening and deepening - which doesn't happen with some of my other toys because I safe word before the more stingy ones can get my color up. We bought this at the sex toy shop in the store a couple towns over. Our "local" store doesn't carry any bdsm equipment - which is a shame - tho I would probably buy out all of their supplies if they did stock my type of toys so maybe it's a good thing they don't keep anything really mean in stock, Lol.

I don't know why my camera doesn't seem to show the red marks that the wooden heart leaves on me when I'm struck with this little Evil Stick. Maybe too much flash. Anyways. Trust me, there were a quite a few bright red dots on me from this super stingy little toy. I can take this smack anywhere ... even boobs aren't safe from the little heart.

This picture show the red noodle like quality of this flogger. I love it! These rubber strings are practically like being smacked with a solid rubber hammer or something when its swung quickly, and more like broom bristles when it's brought down slower. Either way it seems to bring out the color in my bottom.

My man had to brush off the black specs off my cheeks before taking this picture, but other then that, I quite enjoyed the feel of this new one too.

Of course, when I'm getting my beatings, I have to be strapped in so that I can't turn around or try to avoid the floggers. Our home improvement project of adding hooks into the walls at the head of our bed has come in VERY handy lately - tip to those who want to try this, make sure you know where the studs are in your wall or invest in a good stud finder ... our wall now looks like a woodpecker was set loose on the walls because I was impatient and hammered in a small nail every couple inches til I found the studs for the hooks to be screwed into. I'm thinking we will have to invest in some actual leather cuffs soon... I can't struggle very hard in these rope ties otherwise I will leave marks on my wrists that would be very hard to explain at the office the next day, Lol.

The nip of autumn is in the air... it brings glowing cheeks everywhere...

Nothing is quite as nice as a glowing red bottom...

A red bottom brought about by a whip and strong hands...

Sexy man getting the whip out...

My man is .... all man ....

Default Dominatrix - or - The Subs I've Had

I was thinking about it the other night, and even tho I consider myself naturally submissive and masochistic, I have played with more submissive guys then dominant ones. I guess you could say I am a default dominatrix. There just has seemed like there is a shortage of men around me who can step up to line I draw and actually top me. I am not an "easy" slave who is dying to please any man ... I am a sassy, bratty bitch who needs to be slapped around and made to submit.

Words have next to no effect on me - you have to physically MAKE me submit to you. Tell me to go to bed and stay there and I will stick my tongue out at you, tell you to fuck yourself and continue watching my TV show. Wrap your hand around my throat and growl threats in my ear as you drag me gasping to the bed and then force me down and beat my ass red, and I will stay in bed until you want me to do otherwise. Basically, I will keep pushing back and mouthing off until you spank me into subspace (or whip me there, flog me there, cane me there, choke me there, prick me there, etc...). Mmmm...

 Anyways, it takes a strong handed master to earn my submissive side - and those types of men are few and far between (at least in my life). Also, any man who wants my sub side, cannot switch. Once I know a man goes to bottom ... I lose all respect for him as dominant to me. Like I said, I'm a total bitch, Lol.

The men I seem to have the most history playing with starts out our online flirting telling me he is a dominant man who wants to have a woman who will play sub to him. BUT, what they end up meaning is that they are a total inexperienced vanilla guy who thinks that pulling my hair during doggy style constitutes playing rough with me. These men think that finding a sub means that the woman will get on her knees and give BJs on cue, maybe give up anal more then birthdays and Christmas, and basically take orders like a droid. Vanilla guys' idea of kinky is completely different then actual dom/sub play.

With these kinky vanilla guys, I never have much hope that they will actually submit me. But, true to form, when I meet a guy who says he want to top me, I push back and mouth off until I realize that they are doing what I tell them and not even trying to top me anymore. And, once I realize that I have the top, I have surprised myself by really getting into it!

I know what I like and what I want to feel... so I KNOW how to talk down to and rough up these little sissy's who thought they could push me around. My mental trail goes like this: This guy is sub, I can get anything I want from him. He does what I tell him. This is a total power rush. And, the guy is into really into it! It's almost a form of submissiveness for me to be doing something that he likes so much. He actually loves being made to give me orgasm after orgasm with his tongue - and then being made to give me a foot rub and watch a chick flick all while wearing a cock ring and butt plug. He doesn't get off til I tell him he can, and look at him, eager as a little puppy to please me.

It's amazing to me the different kinds of men that I have found turn sub on me at the critical moment. I have had a truck driver, a musician, and a marine sniper all play sub to my dominatrix. All three men were large beasts who were threatening to just look at. Just proves that you can't judge a man's dom potential by his looks.

The truck driver, "Ed," was 40, 5'10", Polynesian, 300lbs and built like the trucks he drove, or perhaps like a brick wall. He played dom to me for awhile, but then started asking me to top him more and more. He was probably the most experienced in the lifestyle of anyone I've ever played with - and he taught me a lot about what I liked in a dom before he switched on me and was constant sub. He liked me to order him around in bed and choke him to the point of unconsciousness. I didn't really mind giving him what he wanted, but I felt that he lied to me from the beginning by saying he was a Master (with the capital M) and then flat out refusing to top me after I started showing that I was a good dominatrix. That deception combined with him going and being an idiot by falling in love with me, ended that.

The musician, "Josh," was 33, 6'6", also 300lbs, due to his height the weight looked more proportionate, he had that dark, brooding artistic look. He wasn't so much "sub" as he just liked being a bottom in the bedroom. He liked me to use a dildo and fuck his ass while I beat him with my flogger (or bare hands). We took turns fulfilling each others fantasies. Playtime was fun. He discovered that he liked (more then anything else) me to fist his ass. He was a large guy, but he had a small asshole. It would take almost an hour of graduatingly larger toys until my hand could slide into his body. I would then reach around and make him cum with my other hand as the one inside him would ball into a fist and pound away. Since we didn't have any connection outside the bedroom (as in, we didn't spend more then about 3 minutes together that wasn't in my bed), when he moved to Chicago to finish grad school we lost touch.

And the Marine, "George," was 28 (but was worn and rugged and honestly looked closer to 40), was 5'10", and a solid, ripped, 200lbs. He was tattooed up the wazoo, mean looking, and an exfelon as well as a multiple kill sniper with the Marines ... he was also the most submissive little boy that I ever played with. He would do anything in any way I asked him to - he is the one that would walk around wearing a large butt plug that I inserted and would give me foot rubs and be completely content to sit on the floor by my feet while we watched a movie together as long as I was petting his head like he was the household dog. He was a bottom to the point that, had I been super kinky, this little boy in a steroid-pumped-up, convict's body would have sucked off a bull while I took a dump on his dick - he was just THAT submissive. It scared me to have someone be that submissive and into pleasing me (even tho I know it was his submissive side and not necessarily ME that he was into). I eventually ordered him to find a good vanilla girl and be happy with her because I couldn't handle the responsibility of this little boy needing me the way he did. The last I heard, he was married to a sweet little Asian girl that he met at a blood drive at the local university. Tho who knows, she could be a secret dominatrix too. I don't know about her, but I know I definitely could have used the below book when I was playing with him!

 
I thought about it and perhaps I am not as submissive as I pretend. Even tho what I truly CRAVE is a dominant man who can make me submit. I never fantasize about topping a man and I always dream about being bruised and sore from having a man whip my ass. I never wish I had a guy who's ass I could fist, and I do wish for a man to push his whole hand into my body. I don't go looking for a man to give me a foot rub, and I do crave to be made to kneel before my Master and deep throat him.

But, when push comes to shove, I've been told that I am a very good default dominatrix...

Sunday Night BDSM Pics

Here are a couple pictures of my ass from the other night... Red and sore, sore and red... next day sitting in my office chair at work was a constant reminder of the fun I'd had the night before... I always say, if I don't have bruises the next day, then the sex wasn't worth it.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

Also, I just ordered the below "Evil Stick" online this weekend in black and purple. Hopefully I will have some nice new pictures to share here in the next couple weeks... this is supposed to leave nice heart shaped bruises/marks on my ass... 

Me? Anti-Feminism?

How can watching a woman being loved on by a man be anti-female in any way?

I sometimes wonder at the blogs I read.

Who are these people who think that they can post "x" and not get a response from me? Why would they put a thought as insane as that out there in cyberspace if not to get a response like the one I am about to leave them?

I've noticed many different types of adult ("sex") blogs that are written by females. In general, I feel that I can split most of the female-written sex blogs I read regularly into one of two groups - they have either a "gender equality" slant or a "pro-feminine" slant to the writing. Both are forms of feminism (looking at them objectively). The term "feminist" has negative connotation to me, but I use it here since it seems to be the "IT" word for modern females.

My blog or at least my outlook on life which should be reflected in my blog is from a definite pro-feminine viewpoint. Here are my simplified definitions of these two terms stated as neutrally as I can manage to define them given I feel so strongly in line with the pro-feminine stance personally. One thing to take notice of is that BOTH of these feminisms believe that the "worth" of a person is not determined by their gender. 

Gender-Equality: a belief system in which a person believes that all men and women are inherently the same and should be treated as such. These feminists believe that the only difference between the two genders is in genitalia and they are constantly striving to make the world be just as gender-blind as it is color-blind (at least as color-blind as it's become over the past 50+- years).These are the feminists that have made Virginia Military Institute (VMI) open to both genders, these are the feminists who bring lawsuits against the PGA or NFL for not allowing women to compete, and these are the feminists who have created a workplace environment where women no longer have to put up with sexual harassment.

Pro-Feminine: a belief system in which a person believes that men and women should be treated equally in life and the workplace and neither gender should be looked down on any more then the other simply because of their gender, BUT these are also people who also believe that women and men are VERY different in very fundamental, biological ways. These feminists believe that each gender should embrace the differences that their gender embodies - but that neither gender is inherently better/worse or higher/lower then the other in life. These feminists are ones who also strive to have equal pay for equal work in the workplace, but they still want/expect men to BE men (do the soldiering, open doors, perhaps even be the main breadwinner in a household).

Now the main issue behind this whole rant is that I have a subscription of Playboy (and Penthouse and Maxim for that matter…). I am 26 years old, straight (maybe bi-curious), and ALL female. Yet I ordered these magazine subscriptions while single. Apparently I am on the complete other side of the fence then the "gender-equality" camp of women regarding the whole porn issue.

I believe that the fact that many in society view females as sex objects is equaled out by the fact that we, as women, can/could use our sexuality (our sex-object-ness) in order to get things that we want/need in life. The fact that some men may see it (being a sex object) as a demeaning thing shouldn’t bother us, as that attitude just makes them easier to push around. Now I’m not a man-hater, or a sneaky manipulating bitch, or anything like that … I am mainly being extreme to make these points - “use what you have” and “men and women ARE different and we should embrace those differences.” Also, I think if a woman wears lipstick and has her self-esteem wrapped up in her looks, then she is just being a normal human with her own issues … Personally I could never justify blaming Hugh Hefner because I can’t go a day without mascara…

And, yet when I posted a comment stating this opinion on a blog that was trying to blame the porn industry for ALL of womens' issues, I got the response of:

"Major FAIL at the feminism! Feminism is about women having choices and about equality between everyone. Porn is demeaning to woman and there is no way that a self-respecting woman could ever look at or support porn and still consider herself doing anything good for any feminist causes."

I wish someone could tell me why my attitude a "fail" at feminism? But, none of the blog responders could explain it and I eventually gave up the discussion. If feminism is about woman having choices- and a female is CHOOSING to use her sex-objectness (by being in or enjoying porn) instead of bitching about having a sexuality - then more power to her. Using your personal assets as positives in your life is not manipulation (any more then any basis for a relationship is by default). Using your assets as assets is simply being smart.

It’s all in your perspective; either the couple has a healthy, happy relationship (which always includes give and take from both parties). Or the couple is just manipulating each other … the man is just using his “protect the girl” instincts as part of the package to “manipulate” the woman into finding him useful and keeping him around. And, the woman is just using her “sex-object-ness” as part of the package to “manipulate” him into staying around and being faithful.

 
If a woman finds that she is “empowered by being a sex object,” then how is it wrong of her to embrace that? Even if a person truly believes that embracing sexuality it hasn’t helped anyone historically, why is she responsible for all of society’s “women” and not just for herself. If she has found something that works for her, more power to her.

I truely don’t feel that I am anti-female by being pro-sexuality … however, I guess if I have failed at feminism, then so be it. That's really OK with me because “feminism” it isn’t a label I generally claim as fitting me anyways. I truly enjoy the fact that I am female and I enjoy the that my differences from men give me the ability to be desired by men - if being PRO-female is being ANTI-feminism... then I am as anti-feminism as they come.

Wanting my feminine body / heart / soul to be wanted by a man is about as pro-female as I can imagine anything to be...

Have a Slutty Halloween!

Underneath it all...

I am getting ready for Halloween here... it's one of my favorite holidays. I thought I would share some pictures of the costume I am wearing this year.

Another of the underpinnings...

Adding the petticoat and fishnets...

I've decided to be a pirate wench... this is the first year in awhile that I've actually purchased a costume online and am not making a homemade one. Homemade is awesome, but just doesn't compare to purchased, at least not when I made them, Lol. So "Vixen Pirate Wench" from www.HolloweenExpress.com it is...

The costume... without the lower half...

Sexy Pirate hat...

Now I am just waiting on my boots to arrive. I am a fan of SinisterSoles.com for shoes and I ordered the Bordello Whimsey in black velvet...

I will post some more pictures of it all together once it's all arrived and I've tried it on. Maybe I even will post some pictures of my man in his sexy medieval badass costume.

Until then...

Enjoy me in yellow...

 

 

 

 

 

and pink...

and nothing at'all...

;-)