WaxPlay 101

 My lover found me the perfect Christmas gift, a Celtic collar in one of my favorite colors. I've always said that I didn't want a diamond, and if we ever exchange rings, I wanted him to make mine a dark sapphire set in silver/white gold. Since our wedding isn't until October 2019, we have awhile to find a ring, and in the meantime I can wear my perfect Celtic collar whenever I need to feel his ownership of me.

It latches in the back like a regular dog-collar does - which was a desire of mine, as opposed to clasps, ties, or clips. It fits me with holes to spare - and being a BBW that was a legitimate concern as many that I've tried on were designed with smaller necks in mind. My man tried it on himself and even had the shop clerk try it on for him since apparently she seemed like she was my size. I am a Celtic Pagan. Most of my tattoos (shown below) are Celtic or at least Celtic inspired. So this collar works for me on SO many levels. Just another show of how well my man knows me!

It was an awesome Christmas. Between the firecupping set, the waxplay set and the collar that he gave me, the bondage rope that I gave him, and the moose leather flogger that's on it's way to us as I type (which was supposed to come last week, but will be here in time for my birthday on Wednesday), this was a very kinky Christmas for us.

On to Wax Play; be sure to use unscented candles as candles with scents tend to burn hotter and are more likely to burn the skin. Natural soy or beeswax are best as they burn at lower temps, and the softer the wax of the candle to the touch, the lower temperature that it will burn at. You are always looking for low temp burning candles as they are the least likely to burn the skin of the person being waxed. If it seems too hot to the waxee you can always raise the candle higher from the skin - the further it falls from the candle to the skin the longer the wax has to cool before hitting the victim, umm, waxee.

Before doing any waxing, you need to rub oil into the skin that will be waxed. Baby Oil is the best apparently, but I can't stand the smell of it, so mineral oil is the next best. But any oil can be used... since we didn't have any this evening, we just used some warming massage oil / lube that we had handy and it worked fine. The purpose of the oil is to help with the wax removal and to help with preventing burns by creating a slight barrier/layer between the skin and the wax. If you do not rub oil into the skin, the wax is more likely to "stick" to the skin or hurt when it's removed. This evening we were waxing my boobs, so they got a nice rub down prior to beginning the scene.

I loved how, in the below picture, the white undercoat of wax looks like a bukkake scene from a porn clip. I can't imagine that actually just sitting there waiting for man after man to cum on you would be all that sexy or fun, but I often love the end result of seeing the woman covered in cum with it dripping off of her face and boobs... anyways, I digress, this is NOT cum, this is the white undercoat of wax on my boobs. You are always supposed to put down an undercoat like this as colored wax burns hotter then white. If you went straight to the colors, you are more likely to burn the waxee. Even through this undercoat of white wax, the color that is dripped on me later on in the scene feels hotter then the white wax felt, so I was thankful for the white undercoat.

We have a friend who uses a little crockpot to melt white candles, rather then dripping the undercoat on. With a pot of melted wax at your disposal the undercoat would go on a lot faster and allow you to get to the color designs quicker - you just use a measuring cup or large spoon and splash on the undercoat to your desired skin. But, for me personally, I enjoy the dripping sensation, and never really knowing where exactly the next drop will hit, so I prefer just using a candle for the entire process.

After you have a good solid coat of white, then you can move on to the colors. I find it to be a very artsy and pretty look to have all the drips and drops of color splattering my boobs. Tho it was hard to keep my arms/hands still and holding my breasts up for waxing. The colored wax really does burn hotter and in the few small drops that hit me where the white undercoat wasn't, caused delicious almost too-much pain sensations to course through my body.

Part of the fun of Wax Play, to me, is the removal of the wax. We can incorporate knife play which is another of my favorites into this part of the scene. Feeling the blade scrape across my flesh. Trusting my partner to do this to me is an awesome feeling. Knowing that the slightest nick could draw blood, it's a great rush. Below is the knife we've found to be one of the best for wax removal. Its long thin blade can get between the wax and my skin with the precision needed for the task. I ordered this particular knife from budk.com as a novelty item for $2.95. I guess there isn't much of a market for real flip-open pocket knives that have 7" blades, but it works great for our purposes. I recommend this site for any blades/weapon play. They have great prices for great looking items and while none of them are actual weapon quality (you really get what you pay for) all of the knives/weapons we've ordered from them have been more then adequate for our needs.

It's tough to get action shots when you're both trying to enjoy the play but I think that the below shots are pretty good. It looks both dangerous and fun - tho perhaps the fun part of that is only from my kinky mind enjoying the danger aspect. I think that many more people are turned on by danger then they might realize. Everyone who gets on an amusement park ride because they love the thrill of it, would probably love the feel of a knife pressed to their body by someone they trust. My man says he feels like a surgeon when he is using a knife on me. I like the scraping and rubbing and peeling. Plus between the oil and the wax, my skin feels soft and smooth after a good wax session. Soft skin and rubbing hands as counterpoint to the harsh steel and scratching blade. The wax falling away as the metal rends it from my skin. Mmmm....

Be still, my love. There is a knife pressed to your heart. A knife that could as easily slice flesh as simply set here. Trust me; I have the power here. You are my sub to do with what I want. This knife pressed to your breasts is a symbol of my dominance over you. I choose whether to release you or to cut your flesh. Your blood is mine, your body is mine, you are mine. I won't hurt you. Because you give yourself to me so willingly, so graciously, so beautifully, I will only do what pleases us both. Because you trust me, I won't hurt you. And because I don't hurt you, you trust me.

Nice and red: red and nice.

Got a nice glow going on tonight....

Love the little heart at the bottom right there...

Such strong hands on a sexy man...

The Evil Stick really earns it's name...

Floggers on Parade

I have gotten a few new floggers recently and the "Evil Stick" finally came too. My ass feels awesome!

Above, you will see all of our smack-my-bottom toys laid out on top of our dog crate. My man feels so bad about hitting me in front of the three dogs. Two of them run away from him and hide. The third dog (who I've had for six year and who is a total momma's girl) will actually pose up on him and growl ... we quickly learned that "don't worry she likes it" doesn't translate to dog language and we lock them out of the bedroom when certain types of playtime are in session.

Here my man is showing off our new black leather cat-o-nine tails. We actually ordered this from BudK.com for $5.98. It feels nice and stingy - it needs to be broken in some more because it has a tendency to leave black flakes/dyes all over my nice reddened ass. I tried to give my man some homework and told him to start beating the couch and bed and other inanimate objects with it until it stops shedding - which of course let to him reminding me who was boss (very pleasantly to my way of thinking, Lol) and making me to do it myself.

This is the infamous "Evil Stick" which I actually ordered in "Evil Wand" length from the site I linked in an earlier blog. It looks all pretty and delicate, but this little fucker has a stinging bite to it. My man likes to tell me how little effort he is putting into it when he's striking me with this little wooden heart - he holds it between a couple fingers and his thumb and flicks his wrist at me - it leaves a red cane-like welty mark when the rod part hits me and a heart-shaped red mark/bruise where the purple wood meets my ass cheek. Then he will actually put some arm behind it and make me cry out my safe word. Mmm.

You can't tell it in this picture, but the flogger part of this tool is red rubber. It's almost like a bunch of red cooked spaghetti noodles (if noodles were unbreakable). This is my new favorite toy. It's a bit more thuddy then stingy (except where the noodle tips wrap around and get me on the thigh). But, I can take a lot of this particular flogger. It's brings a nice rosy glow to my bottom within a few strokes and the color just keeps deepening and deepening - which doesn't happen with some of my other toys because I safe word before the more stingy ones can get my color up. We bought this at the sex toy shop in the store a couple towns over. Our "local" store doesn't carry any bdsm equipment - which is a shame - tho I would probably buy out all of their supplies if they did stock my type of toys so maybe it's a good thing they don't keep anything really mean in stock, Lol.

I don't know why my camera doesn't seem to show the red marks that the wooden heart leaves on me when I'm struck with this little Evil Stick. Maybe too much flash. Anyways. Trust me, there were a quite a few bright red dots on me from this super stingy little toy. I can take this smack anywhere ... even boobs aren't safe from the little heart.

This picture show the red noodle like quality of this flogger. I love it! These rubber strings are practically like being smacked with a solid rubber hammer or something when its swung quickly, and more like broom bristles when it's brought down slower. Either way it seems to bring out the color in my bottom.

My man had to brush off the black specs off my cheeks before taking this picture, but other then that, I quite enjoyed the feel of this new one too.

Of course, when I'm getting my beatings, I have to be strapped in so that I can't turn around or try to avoid the floggers. Our home improvement project of adding hooks into the walls at the head of our bed has come in VERY handy lately - tip to those who want to try this, make sure you know where the studs are in your wall or invest in a good stud finder ... our wall now looks like a woodpecker was set loose on the walls because I was impatient and hammered in a small nail every couple inches til I found the studs for the hooks to be screwed into. I'm thinking we will have to invest in some actual leather cuffs soon... I can't struggle very hard in these rope ties otherwise I will leave marks on my wrists that would be very hard to explain at the office the next day, Lol.

Sunday Night BDSM Pics

Here are a couple pictures of my ass from the other night... Red and sore, sore and red... next day sitting in my office chair at work was a constant reminder of the fun I'd had the night before... I always say, if I don't have bruises the next day, then the sex wasn't worth it.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

 

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm

Also, I just ordered the below "Evil Stick" online this weekend in black and purple. Hopefully I will have some nice new pictures to share here in the next couple weeks... this is supposed to leave nice heart shaped bruises/marks on my ass... 

Pain and pleasure - A typical fantasy...

The below is a work of complete fiction (tho I may wish otherwise). It's a fantasy of mine that has made it into writing... 

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I was just getting back from lunch with my dad. I had come in to say hello to my old boss- his secretary. I used to have a summer job as office girl here. Many people had changed since I worked here tho. I hardly recognised anyone. The older lady and I chatted for a few minutes then I decided to head out. I was playing hooky from work that day and wanted to get home and relax. I waved goodbye to my dad who was on the phone as I passed his open office door.

The door to the office across from my dads stood slightly open. Soft music was playing inside and I paused on my way out to see if I recognized the song. I didn’t. But before I could head on my way the professor came round the corner and saw me standing near his door. "Hi Kate" he said genially and he seemed to herd me into his office. I was a little surprised when he closed the door behind us. I had seen him a couple times in passing but didnt really know the man. I guess he recognised me from the pictures my dad had of his family adorning his office walls. Once inside I recognized the song on the radio as one of the top rap songs of the week. Not what I would have expected from this middle-aged college professor. I looked at him with a new interest as he began the polite questioning  that always seemed to fill conversations with my dad's colleagues. How was work. How was life. Any man on the scene yet. What was I doing with my life. I could recite the answers in my sleep so I almost tuned him out as I held a conversation and took in his office- and him.

The professor looked to be in his early 40's. Had pitch black hair and a Native American feel to his high cheekbones and dark piercing eyes. He could play the "bad boy" in a movie I thought. Just the right natural darkness to be cast as the "vampire in the alley waiting for an unsuspecting citizen" role. He obviously worked out I noticed with a blush as I caught myself gazing at his broad shoulders and flat stomach. The black polo shirt highlighted his tan and the sleeves stretched over thick biceps. I pictured those arms holding himself up over me in a soft bed. When I finally noticed that he had gone silent and was watching me lust after him, I blushed furiously.  The whole situation seemed awkward suddenly, and I became very conscious of the closed door on the other side of him.

I stood up and moved to quickly pass him and leave- there was no point in trying to pretend I hadnt just been sizing him up like a piece of meat. It would be better to just leave and avoid him in the future I thought. The silence was thick and our eye contact constant as I tried to slide past him towards the door. His hands shot out and wrapped tightly around my wrists. I took a couple quick breaths and tried to still my racing heart. I varied between fearing him and wanting to beg him to fuck me right there on his desk. My breaths were shaky and I could no longer meet his eyes. My glance darted nervously around the small office as he stood and pulled me closer to him. Six foot six inches of dark psychology professor loomed over me. I wanted nothing more then for this beast to ravage me. But, at the same time I feared at any moment the door to the office would be pushed open and someone would interrupt us. The very fact that I worried about being "interrupted" instead of being "saved" told me that my lust was going to get the better of me.

I finally looked up at him and saw something hard and almost menacing in his eyes. The hands gripping my wrists in let go but I was immediately held in place by both of his large hands encircling my neck with his thumbs pushing up on the underside of my chin so my head tilted backwards making my mouth very vulnerable to his. I was embarrassed with myself for panting softly as his mouth came closer to mine. His fingers curled slightly and I felt the hard press of nails in the back of my neck shoot shivers down my spine as his mouth crushed against mine harshly. I found myself going lightheaded as his hands tightened still more around my neck. My own hands reached up desperately and clawed at his fingers as my tongue fought with his and my body heated up.

He dropped his hands, backed away from me. I was suprised as he then ordered me to follow him and he turned and strode out the office door. I followed. All the way down the hall. Down the stairs. Across the parking lot. Almost running to keep up with his long strides. He seemed to glide rather them walk. Every movement he made seemed smooth and feral. He slipped between two parked vehicles and as I followed him he suddenly turned and crushed me against the jeep with his hard body. His hand wove its self in my hair and he jerked my head sideways. Hot lips found my neck and I squirmed. The lips were immediately replaced by teeth. Teeth that were sharp. Sharper then they should have been, a question raised itself in my mind but before I could voice it he bit me. Hard and deep he bit me. I cried out loud as I could feel blood trickle down the inside of my shirt from his bite. A strong cool hand covered my mouth and drowned out the cry. As the pain shot down my body I felt him grow hard against my tummy- an impressive hardness. He opened the passenger door of the jeep and pushed me roughly inside.

My hand clamped to my neck to rub away the pain. I sat motionless in the front seat as he rounded the front of the jeep and climbed in the driver side. I wondered if I should get out and run. The bite had hurt. There was hardly anything sensual about it and if it hadnt been for the kiss back in the office I doubt I would have been turned on at all by this point. I tried the handle experimentally. It was locked. I looked around and couldn’t find a unlock button anywhere. I turned slowly and met his eyes. "One chance" he said coldly. He hit the unlock button on his side and sat looking at me. My one hand on the door handle, my other still holding the bite wound on my neck I looked back at him- torn between fear and the lust that was still murmering in my body.

I slowly released the handle and reached for my seatbelt. Without meeting his eyes again I pulled the belt across me and clicked it. I looked at him again, a bit shyly. I wasnt the type of woman that men usually took to. I'd had my share of partners but none of them had been the random, passionate "oh my god fuck me now" type of encounters. This was the stuff of novels and I decided I would be a fool to pass it up. There was a faint smile playing on his mouth but the hardness was still in his eyes as he started up the jeep and pulled away from the parking space. We drove for thirty minutes without saying a word.

Halfway through the trip I pulled my hand away from my neck and sat watching him. Now that I knew he knew and was ok with my lust of him I let myself indulge in it. The thick arms were just as threateningly exciting as before. His hands were broad and smooth and now knowing how they felt gripping my neck I couldn’t help but shiver as my gaze wandered to them again. I let myself look to his pants where I could still see a bulge from where he'd hardened against me back in the parking lot. I had the sudden urge to reach over and fondle him through the khakis. I did. Well, tried to. My hand slowly crept over his leg and cupped him through the pants gently, but then he grabbed my hand harshly and jerked it up to his mouth where he bit the inside of my wrist lightly and laughed at me before pushing my hand back into my own lap.

Finally we pulled up at an older looking house at the end of a small road through the woods. I went to open my door but found it was once again locked. He smiled at me and got out of his door and came around and opened mine. "Its childproofed. There is no way to ever open it from the inside." I looked at him with suspicion. That meant that back in the parking lot when he had "unlocked" the door for me I really could not have left had I chosen to. Fear grew inside me again as he reached in and grabbing both my wrists with his hands he jerked me roughly out of the jeep.

He immediately took the collar of my shirt in his hands and tore it open along the front, tearing off most of the buttons as he did so. I shuddered as the cold wind bit my bare skin and backed away from him. Once again his body crushed mine to the side of the jeep and he murmured in my ear. "Don’t worry little girl, you will experience nothing but pleasure with me. Maybe painful pleasure, but you will enjoy it." He backed away from me and still gripping one of my wrists he led me into the house. He walked slower this time. I shivered in the cold but didnt need to run to keep up with him. He never let go of my wrist. I wondered at why he didnt hold my hand as a normal man would have. But, I realised that I enjoyed the feel of being in his control. I prefered this wrist holding. Maybe he could sense that about me.

The bedroom was a dark sensual affair. The walls were painted crimson and the black carpet let to a large bed draped in black velvet covers and red silk sheets. The ceiling was covered in mirrors and the walls adorned with candelabras holding upwards of one hundred candles. I found it strange that the candles were all already lit. Perhaps they were fake, or he had servants. He was watching me take in the room. The from behind me his arms enveloped me. His lips found my ear then down to my neck again. I was braced for it this time. When his teeth sank into my neck I leaned back into him and relaxed into the pain. My brain went fuzzy and it took all my self control not to fight against him and his harshness. As the pain grew it turned into pleasure. As I relaxed into it, it overwhelmed me. I almost orgasmed right there from his teeth breaking my skin and his tongue lapping at the wounds.

 

He led me to the bed and lay me on my back. He crawled on top of me and his mouth found mine again. Urgency and passion filled me and my hands clawed at his shirt, pulling it up over his head and revealing a muscular broad torso that was an even golden tan. I grew wet at the sight of all that delicious flesh. On impulse I reared up under him and bit hard on his shoulder. He cried out but didn’t move to stop me. I bit harder and harder and he groaned. I couldnt break the skin tho. Part of me stil didnt want to hurt him. But, I forced myself to bite harder- I may not have his sharp teeth, but if he got to taste my blood then I was going to taste his. My hands reached around him and gripped his back pulling him down onto me with my teeth still locked into his shoulder. He moaned as he relaxed his weight onto me. I was suffocating underneath him. I couldn’t breath but as his blood finally dripped through my teeth into my mouth I felt energy and a sort of craze come over me. I released his shoulder immediately and clung to him as a lightheadedness filled me. He smiled through his pain down at my confusion. “I thought you’d like it” he said.

 

He moved me up higher on the bed then he stretched my right wrist out above my head and before I realized what was happening he had tied it with something. I couldn’t pull it back towards me. My breath quickened again as he did the same thing to the left wrist. Then he slid me as far down the bed as my bonds would allow. I was trapped- with him straddling my hips I was completely helpless.  I panted softly and pleaded with him with my eyes to kiss me again. My body was so filled with lust and desire. I wanted him to just touch me again anywhere anyhow. Yet he sat there and watched me silently. I squirmed, moving my hips up til I was pressed against him. He was hard, and huge from the feel of it.There was still a trickle of blood on his sholder from where I'd bit him. But, I was surprised that as I lay there watching the wound seemed to heal itself. There was still blood but the torn flesh smoothed itself out. I felt the heat leaving my body as I looked up at him in astonishment and confusion. He smiled down at me and I saw the flash of sharp fangs at the corners of his smile.

 

He called out something in a language I didn’t recognize. I was shocked as I watched another man almost equaling him in rugged beauty melt into the room from the very walls it seemed. This new man was only wearing boxers in black silk. He a tray with shiny objects on it. I was terrified. I felt that lust seep away again and be replaced my pure fear. I looked up at the professor straddling me. He was taking in my fear and relishing in it. My nipples were so hard and erect even though I thought I was more fearful then anything now. He began playing with them. Rolling them between his fingers and pinching hard sometimes with his fingers sometimes trapping them between his nails. I moaned and cried out, the whole time feeling myself go wetter and wetter at his touch and at the silent men watching me. I again writhed enough to feel his hard cock against me. The standing man looked at me, smiled, and murmured something in that strange language. They both smiled now, and the professor me reached for an object of steel from the tray. He clamped my nipple in a vice like clip. I cried out as he tightened it a notch more then I could stand and the soreness spread through me. He did the same thing to the other nipple. The man standing at the side of the bed reached over and held the vice-clips in place. He bent down and kissed me again. The soreness was turning into fire and my body ached for him. I wanted my wrists to be free so I could claw at him and take his cock from his pants and feel it inside me.

 

He sat back up and he reached on the tray again. A needle. I looked at him in terror. He also held up two silver rings. “I am going to adorn you” he said simply. He reached down and I watched as he set the needle against one side of my nipple which was conveniently placed for piercing. He paused and I met his eyes. It was going to hurt like hell… but could it possibly be worse then his teeth. I kept eye contact with him as he pushed the needle harder against the side of my nipple which was being held in place by the vice-clip. I cried out as the needle slowly entered the skin. I squirmed my hips and shuddered my body as he stopped pushing and waited. I made eye contact again and he pushed slowly still.

 

I swear I could feel the needle millimeter my millimeter breaking through my flesh and with each movement the pain was afresh and shot like hot fire straight to my pussy. I was soaking wet through my jeans and very close to coming just from the pain alone. I kept desperate eye contact with him, my breaths short and shallow. His every movement was slow and drawn out, and my every sensation was a confusing mixture of pain and deep pleasure. Once the needle had broken through the other side of my nipple he quickly threaded the ring through the hole and undid the clamp. I looked down with astonished pleasure to see the ring through my nipple. It was as sexy as anything I had ever seen.

 

He repeated the same slow sensual process with the second nipple. But looking at the ring in my other breast I no longer wanted the pain to stop. I kept eye contact with him allowing myself to wince and squirm with the pain. As the needle made its slow agonizing way through my nipple I mentally forced all the pain to tighten my pussy. I orgasmed just as he forced the needle through the other side of my nipple. I bucked and cried out with the intensity of the pleasure washing over me. I twisted away from his hands and tried to wrench my wrists from their bonds. They didn’t break. I lay just as helpless as before once the orgasms stopped and intense after shudders ran through me.

 

He murmured and the other man made the tools disappear and both were suddenly naked. I was so worn out from the intense pleasure I had just experienced, that I didn’t struggle at all when I felt my jeans being slid off my body. I was still trying to catch my breath as the professor knelt between my legs. His golden brown body and dark eyes so close to me. I saw his cock, hard and ready. He was large; very thick. And as he pressed its head against my pussy my back arched on its own to give him the best angle to enter me. He reached up and pinched the new rings in my nipples between the finger and thumb of each  hand. As he slammed his thick hard cock into my dripping pussy he twisted the rings hard. I cried out at both the stretching in my cunt and the pain from my nipples shooting straight to my pussy bringing me to orgasm almost immediately. He pounded me, over and over. Hard ruthless slams. With each deep thrust he twisted the rings again. The mixture of fucking and pain made me cum over and over. My body was worn out and shaking.

 

He finally reached up and undid the binds on my wrists. The other man lay on the bed and the professor turned me over and forced me into a doggy style position. He spread my legs and held me in place as the man on the bed slid himself under my body and my legs spread even wider as his hips positioned themselves to fuck me from underneath. The professor pushed my hips down. Impaling me on the man bellows cock. It wasn’t as thick as the previous one but it was longer and hit the top of my pussy  causing pain with each deep thrust. The professor was behind me and I felt his body lay over mine crushing me to the man below.

 

I moaned and tried to shift under his weight. He moved up slightly and with one deep hard thrust was buried to the base in my ass. I had no warning and I screamed out. But, neither man paid any attention to my cries. Both cocks were pounding me now. Both men’s bodies were hot and sweaty moving in rhythm against mine. My body ached. My pussy hurt. My ass now was stretched till it felt like it was ripping. I cried out and tried in vain to pull myself away from their abuse. The professor reached around my body and grabbed the rings again. A deep thrust into my ass and he twisted them harshly. I grew hot again in an instant. My body responded to the pain and I was cumming in seconds. And as they both kept up a steady rhythm my body fell into the motions with them. We writhed together and my body arched and curved to allow each best access when it came their turn to pound.

 

After an eternity of orgasms mixed with pain the men were close to cumming. They both set their teeth lightly at my neck. I moaned as the relentless pounding increased in intensity. Over and over the throbbing of their cocks and the pain in my nipples brought me to the edge of insanity and dropped me from the cliff into pleasure. They both came deep inside me at the same moment. They sunk their teeth deep into my throat as they came and the blood from their bites made my neck slick. The pain throughout my body brought me over the edge one last time.  

The writhing slowed and the men relaxed completely. The professors weight was comforting to my sore body. I relaxed and drifted off to a light sleep still covered in blood and filled with the two men.

Sex partner wanted - Next day bruises are a must...

I've been in conversation with a few women recently about the differences in sexual terms between men and women. There are many of us women out there who do not want to be treated like china dolls. We don't always want to "make love" with our partners, and forcing us can fulfill our greatest fantasy. Yet, as open as we are about these desires and as picky as we are in hopes of finding someone who can fulfill them, it seems that "I like it rough" equates to a few light slaps on the ass when he's riding us doggy style in a man's mind. How is this?

When a woman says she enjoys it rough, she isnt talking about how hard you can actually bang her, or some light spanking, she means she wants to be totally ravaged. She wants you to pin her down and not let her up. Hold her wrists in place as you kiss her. Bite her neck- hard, til she squirms. Smack her ass til its red and she's begging. Make her feel it the next day and and the day after. When a woman says she wants it rough, she wants to be sore until the next time she sees you- rope burns on her wrists and bruises on her ass.

Now that may seem extreme. And, I guess there are sometimes psychological reasons behind a woman's need to be "mistreated" like that. People may theorize that we were raped and got used to that treatment (and sometimes thats true). They may say that we never learned to connect healthily with another human so the "bad" attention is misinterpreted as good attention. They may say that we are simply warped and in need of counseling and reconditioning as to proper sexual habits.

But, it's none of that for most of us, mostly it's for the rush. We are often the same women who have multiple piercings and tattoos. We are the ones who love the rush that comes along with pain. Our bodies go into that beloved flight/fight responses and all that excess adrenaline stays bottled up in us; heightening every nerve and every sensation we experience. The pain from your rough treatment makes us ache to be closer to you. Our bodies twist and writhe. We want to please you to win your gentler affections, yet we want to disobey to make the roughness continue.

We are often the ones that are such control freaks in real life that to push our boundaries and make us FEEL in the bedroom that control has to be stripped from us. Sometimes when a woman has to juggle all the balls in her life, in the bedroom the last thing she really wants to do is have to juggle some more. Its actually a very relaxing feeling to be strapped down and not have to worry about being in control and making the right moves- to be pleased and used for pleasure without having to make the decisions that could lead to mistakes. When you are in control in bed, you are thinking and planning and deciding what to do next, when you are thinking you are not feeling- we crave to feel and the best way to get that is to not have to think about what comes next- to follow orders and let yourself be used.

Seems to me that most men are wusses nowadays. They just dont "get" what rough means and have never tried to figure out what a woman really means when she says "rough". Its outside of alot of guys comfort zones, they arent confident in what you want and it makes them timid, the minute timid enters the bedroom the woman with these types of desires check out.

Men need to understand the balance between taking her there and going too far. A woman needs to clearly tell a man that level she wants. But most often we end up telling a guy a million times what we want, no need, from them in the rough play department and they fail miserably to perform and so we check out, its just not doing it, so we smile through the sex and move on to try the next man.

Most woman friends I have I have asked her favorite fantasy - and I always ask to hear the one that she doesn't share with her other friends, the one she might be embarrassed to admit. Eight out of ten times she says that she wants a guy to have sex with her against her will. She wants to feel like she is being raped, she wants to fight and not be able to get free. Guys, if a woman actually tells you she "likes it rough," if she says those words she is not implying just just wants it hard. She is not saying to pound her faster. She is saying the following:

• She wants you to pin her shoulders down and tell her to get up and then not let her move. Tell her to try harder or you are going to stop fucking her, no matter how hard she tries you keep her pinned and make it look easy.

• When you are fucking her from behind, put your hand at the root of her hair and pull her head back. Pull it back as far as her neck will let you pull it, pull it back so far that it makes it hard for her to breathe. Tell her she can only breathe when you tell her its ok to breathe.

• Push her against a wall, but do it harder than you can ever imagine pushing a girl in real life. Push her against it to where it WILL hurt her. Pick her up, put her legs around you and with every thrust of your cock into her push her back against the wall, each time harder.

• When you are fucking her hard, hold back 10 percent without her knowing. Tell her to beg you to stop and when she does, then apply that extra ten percent, make her understand that her saying stop doesn't register with you, she doesn't actually have an option at this point.

• Tie her up, but dont tie her up with a silk tie, tie her up with nylon rope, the kind you see in the movies. When you tie her hands behind her back ask her if she can get free, while she is trying, tighten it twice as tight so she can feel that she really cant get free. If her wrists are red and sore, its not tight enough.

• Then call or text her the next day and tell her to look in the mirror at her bruises and ask her how much it turns her on to see the marks you put on her and tell her that you look forward to next time. 

If she asks for rough, this is what she wants. If you give it to her, like obviously most guys don't, you will now be her new cocaine.

So all that said, what does a girl have to do to get it rough? How clearer can we make it to a man when we want to feel them on us even after they've left? How can we make them understand that we aren't breakable? How can they understand that a spank or two only wets our appetite? And, are we unreasonable in expecting them to understand something that is so out of the norm (tho its really not given the number of women who crave it)? And, is it so taboo a desire that we shouldnt want it from the men we are with?