I just saw the video linked above the other day and I’ve been reading a lot of my fellow adult bloggers writings’ lately and it seems like the current hot button issue with many of them is the judge striking down “Proposition 8” in CA as unconstitutional. I’m putting my two cents out there regarding this next step towards making marriage legal for everyone.
For anyone who’s lived under a rock for the past year or so, Proposition 8 was a law enacted in CA that banned homosexuals from getting married. The religious right and their “marriage equals only one man and one woman” slogans and bumper stickers championed this proposition. People who believe things like “homosexuality is not just a sin against God, but a sin against nature" and “homosexual sex as harmful as drug abuse, prostitution or smoking” raised irrational fears and caused a panic. And, unfortunately the ban was initially passed. But, Proposition 8 was challenged almost immediately in the court system. This week, Federal Judge Vaughn Walker has struck down the ban stating it was unconstitutional because (the below is loosely quoted from a couple CNN articles):
“Proposition 8 demanded discrimination solely on the basis of sexual preferences and sexual orientation and it places the force of law behind discrimination against gays and lesbians and the belief that their relationships do not deserve the recognition of society. Proposition 8 somehow passed even though no rational basis for this discrimination was presented. The only reason for Proposition 8, he wrote, is a moral view that there is something wrong with homosexuals, and that is not a permissible reason for legislation. “Moral disapproval alone,” he wrote, in words that could help change history, “is an improper basis on which to deny rights.’”
OK. News flash over. On to the fun stuff. I’ve come to the conclusion that majority of people are afraid of anything except vanilla sex and they will do everything possible to try and squeeze the world into their idea of a “normal” life – married, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence in the suburbs and sex in the missionary position every third weeknight with the lights off.
Here is a little about me. My man and I have been together for over two years, and living together for almost that length of time. We both were tired of dating and agreed to go on one "non-date" and see what happened. Well, short story is that we clicked, and fast forward to today. We are still best friends, have never been seriously upset with each other, living together is awesome, and we are talking about opening up the relationship a little and bringing others into our bedroom (a friend of mine is going to film an adult movie at my house and we both want to ummm "entertain" the actors when they're off-camera. I mean, someone has to keep those cocks hard and pussies wet while they’re waiting for their turn in the spotlight- they can’t be allowed to go into the scene looking bored and limp).
I've been in the swinging scene before and the dom/sub scene, and heck, I was in college after all – I kissed a girl before Katy Perry made it cool. My Hunny has also had various levels of open relationships. But, even as great as things are with us, I have no desire to marry him, nor him to marry me.
I was at a cocktail reception in honor of a family friend the other day and a few different people whom I hadn't seen in 10+ years were making marriage comments to me. No matter how much I tried to explain that I wasn't interested, they seemed to think that it just meant that my man isn't the right one and when I meet "Mr. Right" I will want marriage and babies. Finally, I just started saying that I love my man, I love our life together and that I've no desire to change (and most likely ruin) our blissful relationship just because the sex-starved majority think that a ring should be my only goal. Then I asked them when the last time they had sex with the "love of their life" was because I can generally count the span between getting laid in hours ... and that shut them up. Mortified my mother, but it made the rude questions stop.
However, as much as I do not want marriage in my own life, I do NOT think it is the government’s place to legislate who I could or couldn’t marry! It seems to me that the very definition of separating church and state should have kept this proposal completely off the table. It’s beyond my comprehension how this supposedly free nation could have allowed a law to be passed when it does nothing but attempt to enforce the religious right’s fear of homosexuality.
Because that’s what it is - fear. Just because their holy book says so, the thought of two women or two men falling in love has been brainwashed into them as something ugly instead of something beautiful. I still remember the first time I caught my hunny checking out a chick a few weeks into our relationship. He realized I saw him and was doing that stammering thing that men do when caught in this situation. They are trying to think of some excuse for having eyes that still work when apparently most women think that men’s eyes are supposed to become defective as soon as they are in a relationship with him.
Joking aside, I am straight (mostly), but I do appreciate a woman’s body. We’re beautiful. I’ve had threesomes (MMF and MFF) and foursomes and I am not afraid of touching and being touched. There are quite a few things sexually that I have no interest in doing with a woman, whereas I have next to no limits with men (just the usual - no scat, kids or animals).
But, more importantly to the marriage subject, I’ve never felt even slightly emotionally attracted to a female. I have only loved men in that way. And, since marriage, under the fancy dress and ceremony, is just a legal contract to express the love and commitment that two people have towards each other, I would only ever take that step with a man.
This very fact, that I have a definite opinion about my own sexuality and who I would want to marry if I was so inclined and me knowing that these drives weren’t given to me by someone nor was I coerced into them through societal/religious brainwashing, makes me a complete believer in the fact that whether you’re homo or hetero is not a choice - it is in your nature. I don’t want someone telling me what I can and cannot enjoy in the privacy of my own home with a willing partner, so it only follows that I won’t tell someone else they can’t do “x” – fair is fair after all.
How would Proposition 8 proponents feel if we banded together and made it law that, oh I don’t know, having sex without using a whip was illegal? Or decided that no one was allowed to get married until they had fucked their partner regularly for at least a month? That last one is something which any sane person would do anyways, but most the Proposition 8 supporters that I know aren’t sane. They are all definitely more the “sex is a sin which will make me burn in a lake of fire for all eternity unless I have a ring on the third finger of my left hand, but once I get that ring then sex is OK in missionary position only” type of people.
I guarantee you that even they, these sex-phobic haters, would be on the side of personal privacy if it was theirs being threatened. How can they think that it is moral, by anyone’s standards, to outlaw something natural that people are born feeling/being? The last time someone tried to make genetic traits/heritage illegal/evil, he started World War II.
(Can't forget all the sexy gay men, represented here with Adam Lambert! I love Glambert and his music ... 20 days until I see him in concert - it will be my first real concert ever, outside of small local bands at bars.)