Saturday, July 24, 2010

Sex partner wanted - Next day bruises are a must...

I've been in conversation with a few women recently about the differences in sexual terms between men and women. There are many of us women out there who do not want to be treated like china dolls. We don't always want to "make love" with our partners, and forcing us can fulfill our greatest fantasy. Yet, as open as we are about these desires and as picky as we are in hopes of finding someone who can fulfill them, it seems that "I like it rough" equates to a few light slaps on the ass when he's riding us doggy style in a man's mind. How is this?

When a woman says she enjoys it rough, she isnt talking about how hard you can actually bang her, or some light spanking, she means she wants to be totally ravaged. She wants you to pin her down and not let her up. Hold her wrists in place as you kiss her. Bite her neck- hard, til she squirms. Smack her ass til its red and she's begging. Make her feel it the next day and and the day after. When a woman says she wants it rough, she wants to be sore until the next time she sees you- rope burns on her wrists and bruises on her ass.

Now that may seem extreme. And, I guess there are sometimes psychological reasons behind a woman's need to be "mistreated" like that. People may theorize that we were raped and got used to that treatment (and sometimes thats true). They may say that we never learned to connect healthily with another human so the "bad" attention is misinterpreted as good attention. They may say that we are simply warped and in need of counseling and reconditioning as to proper sexual habits.

But, it's none of that for most of us, mostly it's for the rush. We are often the same women who have multiple piercings and tattoos. We are the ones who love the rush that comes along with pain. Our bodies go into that beloved flight/fight responses and all that excess adrenaline stays bottled up in us; heightening every nerve and every sensation we experience. The pain from your rough treatment makes us ache to be closer to you. Our bodies twist and writhe. We want to please you to win your gentler affections, yet we want to disobey to make the roughness continue.

We are often the ones that are such control freaks in real life that to push our boundaries and make us FEEL in the bedroom that control has to be stripped from us. Sometimes when a woman has to juggle all the balls in her life, in the bedroom the last thing she really wants to do is have to juggle some more. Its actually a very relaxing feeling to be strapped down and not have to worry about being in control and making the right moves- to be pleased and used for pleasure without having to make the decisions that could lead to mistakes. When you are in control in bed, you are thinking and planning and deciding what to do next, when you are thinking you are not feeling- we crave to feel and the best way to get that is to not have to think about what comes next- to follow orders and let yourself be used.

Seems to me that most men are wusses nowadays. They just dont "get" what rough means and have never tried to figure out what a woman really means when she says "rough". Its outside of alot of guys comfort zones, they arent confident in what you want and it makes them timid, the minute timid enters the bedroom the woman with these types of desires check out.

Men need to understand the balance between taking her there and going too far. A woman needs to clearly tell a man that level she wants. But most often we end up telling a guy a million times what we want, no need, from them in the rough play department and they fail miserably to perform and so we check out, its just not doing it, so we smile through the sex and move on to try the next man.

Most woman friends I have I have asked her favorite fantasy - and I always ask to hear the one that she doesn't share with her other friends, the one she might be embarrassed to admit. Eight out of ten times she says that she wants a guy to have sex with her against her will. She wants to feel like she is being raped, she wants to fight and not be able to get free. Guys, if a woman actually tells you she "likes it rough," if she says those words she is not implying just just wants it hard. She is not saying to pound her faster. She is saying the following:

  • She wants you to pin her shoulders down and tell her to get up and then not let her move. Tell her to try harder or you are going to stop fucking her, no matter how hard she tries you keep her pinned and make it look easy.

  • When you are fucking her from behind, put your hand at the root of her hair and pull her head back. Pull it back as far as her neck will let you pull it, pull it back so far that it makes it hard for her to breathe. Tell her she can only breathe when you tell her its ok to breathe.

  • Push her against a wall, but do it harder than you can ever imagine pushing a girl in real life. Push her against it to where it WILL hurt her. Pick her up, put her legs around you and with every thrust of your cock into her push her back against the wall, each time harder.

  • When you are fucking her hard, hold back 10 percent without her knowing. Tell her to beg you to stop and when she does, then apply that extra ten percent, make her understand that her saying stop doesn't register with you, she doesn't actually have an option at this point.

  • Tie her up, but dont tie her up with a silk tie, tie her up with nylon rope, the kind you see in the movies. When you tie her hands behind her back ask her if she can get free, while she is trying, tighten it twice as tight so she can feel that she really cant get free. If her wrists are red and sore, its not tight enough.
  • Then call or text her the next day and tell her to look in the mirror at her bruises and ask her how much it turns her on to see the marks you put on her and tell her that you look forward to next time. 

If she asks for rough, this is what she wants. If you give it to her, like obviously most guys don't, you will now be her new cocaine.

So all that said, what does a girl have to do to get it rough? How clearer can we make it to a man when we want to feel them on us even after they've left? How can we make them understand that we aren't breakable? How can they understand that a spank or two only wets our appetite? And, are we unreasonable in expecting them to understand something that is so out of the norm (tho its really not given the number of women who crave it)? And, is it so taboo a desire that we shouldnt want it from the men we are with? 

No comments:

Post a Comment