My friends know they can come to me with any of their questions and I will do my best to answer honestly and succinctly. I can't count the number of times I've offended someone, only to have them come back to me a couple weeks later and sheepish inform me that I was right about their issues. The below blog came about from a friend of mine who started a conversation about porn and how she hated it when her husband looked at "that stuff." Even after over an hour of trying to convince her that she was over-reacting, I didn't think the point got through. We dropped the topic and it wasn't brought up again. But, then about two months later her husband cornered me in the grocery store and thanked me for talking to her... so something must have worked...
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Dear Kate,
My man spends too much time looking at porn and jerking off how can I make him stop?
Sincerely,
Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Put out more.
Sincerely,
Kate
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*giggling uncontrollably* ...
I honestly don’t get the big deal about porn. I mean outside of a conservative church I’ve yet to meet a man who doesn’t look at it regularly. And, I’ve really only rarely met a woman who doesn’t look at it at least occasionally. I understand that some people have an addiction to it and that can be unhealthy. But, for some reason women seem to take offense to their man looking at hot naked women fucking other men- wait… when I put it like that it sounds bad… I mean women get annoyed with their man being a man. It is not cheating to look a picture on a screen. It may be distasteful and disrespectful to do it in front of your woman if she has issue with it, but it’s not morally wrong.
Personally, I much prefer a man who is open about their porn habits then someone who is sneaking around with it. The men who are sneaky and hide it from you are the men who hide other women in their lives as well. Tho, if you are a prude and refuse to accept porn and other sexual needs of your man’s life then he has no choice to hide it from you (in that case him hiding things is your fault and doesn't necessarily mean he's a cheater). In my personal experience the only men who have hid porn from me (since I am open about the issue) are the ones who are generally sneaky and deceptive, and, we've never last long as a couple. I make the effort to openly allow completely honesty with little-to-no repercussions (ie I don't fly off the handle and start a fight every time he brings up an issue like porn). Hence a man who has no "reason" to hide things but still does, has deeper honesty issues; I don't deal with pathological liars for long.
Anyways, every man I’ve dated has looked at porn at the very least a few times a week - even when we're having sex every day. Sometimes they jack off, sometimes they don’t, but watching porn is just something they do. Looking at someone’s boobs is apparently just fun to do from a man’s perspective. They are simple creatures, can’t blame them for wanting to look at what they don’t have... Female bodies' are beautiful to look at and sex is just plain hot to watch. How a person can look at pics like: (NSFW) sweet sex and think "Eww" is beyond me. Personally I prefer pics like: (NSFW) rough her up but that is just a matter of personal taste ;-)
Besides the honesty issue, porn is a great learning tool! I knew a lot more about sex then you could imagine before I had even kissed a guy. I can’t imagine having gone into that first time sexual encounter knowing only the mere basics of sex that I learned from my parents and friends throughout school (I grew up in a sheltered religious environment). “A man sticks his penis in your vagina” is not all a girl needs to know before actually experiencing it. Porn helped with that. Those years of sneaking onto the family computer after everyone else had gone to sleep and wide-eyedly staring through pages and pages of the google search results for the word "sex" was about as informative as all of my years of experience since highschool has been.
How else would I know about things like sounding, fisting, figging, coprophagia, water sports, hermaphrodites, canarijimmiphilia, balloon fetishes, and klismaphilia? I can tell you that my mind would not have come up with any of those on my own… and I can be pretty twisted.
And, now I will wait while some of you search some of those fetishes in your search engine of choice……
Ok… satisfied your curiosity? If you really want to learn more about weird fetishes you can click this link to a map of them all organized and categorized. And, yeah, most of that you never will want to try with your partner... or maybe you will, who am I to guess... but in either case isn’t it interesting to know about? I mean how else would you learn how weird the rest of the world is without porn? Its a way to make yourself feel a little bit saner. Having an off-day? Feel like you don't fit in? Remind yourself that at least you are normal, at least you aren't a apotemnophiliac who can only get off by thinking about chopping off your own limbs.
Tangent over... also, how do you expect your man get off when you’re not in the mood? Everyone is into saying that sex is a biological need of men - so would you really rather he finds another partner then look at pictures? If you are the type of woman who doesn’t want to have to satisfy your man regularly even when you are supposedly in a monogamous relationship with him then be thankful that there ways for release for him without cheating. You don’t have as much to worry about if he is jacking off to the computer – worry when he stops looking at porn and you still aren’t putting out.
So loosen up, women - Porn is your friend.
- If you want honesty in your relationship, a man sharing his love of porn is a good sign that he's honest with you in other areas too.
- Watching porn together is a great way of connecting and spicing up your sex life.
- If you don’t know much about sex and want to learn then be thankful there is porn so you don’t actually have to meet up with nutcases to learn new sex tips.
- If you don't like sex, yet for some unknown reason want monogamy, you should be glad porn is out there to help a man be faithful to you.
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