Sunday, October 31, 2010

My Costume Says Rape Me? Or Slutting Around on Halloween...

As much, or little, clothing as a woman chooses to wear in public, nothing gives someone the right to touch her. As nice as the woman to the right looks (even I would love to touch her, those boobs are so perky and bouncy looking, and the curve of that hip is delicious, Lol), and as unappealing as the women to the left look, All of these women have the same rights to their body as the others...

 I've found and read a lot of blogs lately (SerenaDante, MonsterFresh, TrulyEqual, AngryHarry, Ezinearticles even YahooAnswers to link a few) about how the various views on womens clothes as related to whether they should be raped or not. I feel the need to chime in on this topic. Mostly because it; a. hits close to home; b. ties into the religion topic that caused such a debate a couple days ago here on my blog; c. is another topic that will demonstrate how absolutely retarded majority of people are (which is always amusing to write about, Lol) and; c. is a sexual topic which is what this blog is about anyways...

Now, to most of you the subject will seem like common sense. If I say things like "women who dress in clothes that show too much leg and cleavage wants to be raped" or "it's not rape when a woman is asking for it by wearing THAT in public" or "you can't rape a slut/whore" majority of you will write me off as a total quack. But there are some people out there who will simply agree with those statements. They have been brainwashed by either society or religion... or they are plain twisted in their own minds.

I do think that women who dress like whores like to be viewed as such - I know when I dress like a slut with my tits hanging out of my shirt, I definitely appreciate all looks that men give me - BUT even whores have the right to say no. In states where prostitution is legal, a whore can still choose her clients and can still bring a john up on rape charges because he didn't respect "no" from her. So, even when a woman wants to be viewed as a sex object for the day, it doesn't mean she is giving up all rights to do or NOT to do what she wants with her body. A girl may go out in public wearing an outfit that seems to talk to a man. But it is saying "look at me, I'm sexy" - nothing she wears is ever saying "rape me" and no man has the right to confuse that basic point.

People can say that "rape isn't about sex its about power" all they want, but in the end it it still about sex. If it were JUST about power, the rapist would leave his clothes on and beat the hell out of his victim - rapists rape. That's what makes them rapists. Therefore rape is about sex. Men who rape (and, yes, there are women who rape, but they are few and for ease of reading I am going to use male pronouns) are turned on sexually, perhaps by the power trip, but regardless, they are turned on sexually by a woman and do not have the common sense and self control to pursue her sex in a normal, healthy fashion and instead force themselves on her and into her. There is no excuse, no justification, no reason that can make this lack of simply human decency OK or right in any way. LEAST of all her clothing. A woman is allowed to go outside wearing anything or nothing that she wants and not run any higher risk of being raped then were she to be completely covered.

A lot of the blogs that I've found recently, due to it being this time of year, center around what is being coined as "Slutoween" and how the increasingly revealing Halloween costumes are "to blame" for men raping the women who wear them. Now I personally have a fairly slutty Halloween costume this year. I can tell you with no hesitation that if a man had tried to rape me either of the past two nights, besides the fact that he'd be dead, killed by my boyfriend in his executioner costume, I would NOT have blamed the fishnets I was wearing for him trying to rape me ... I would have blamed him.

I was raised to believe that all men have no self control and it was completely up to the woman to keep "impure thoughts" from entering any man around her's head. Men were NOT to be blamed for anything that they did sexually that a woman "asked for" by being too sexual of a being. Women who are even slightly sexual are on their own and not to be either trusted nor respected by men.Youth group even had a dress code of no knees showing and at least four inchs for straps on sleeveless shirts (ie no tube tops, spagetti straps or even normal sleeveless tank tops). Women are still making up for force-feeding Adam the cursed apple way back in the garden of Eden and hence we are responsible for ALL of their downfalls to this very day. It is our responsibility as paroled-women-kind that no man is tempted down the evil path again.

This very illogic was one of the reasons that I did not talk about being raped for years after it happened in college. It was because of this misguided brainwashing. I honestly felt that it was my fault somehow that a man on his second date with me was expected to / allowed to force himself on me. I believed that maybe because I wore too little clothing, too much makeup or flirted too much, that he was justified in beating me bruised and raping an eighteen year old girl who he knew to be a virgin.

I know better now. I know that men are people too. Men are not crazed animals with no control over their actions. Men are normal human beings who have no more right to force non-consensual sex then a women has a right to chop off her adulterous husband's dick even if she "feels like it" and "he asked for it" by cheating on her. All people are solely responsible for their actions. All people must live by all laws of the local they live in which are usually based on some form of "as it harm none, do as ye will." This applies to ALL people. men too, not just women.  A woman's clothes no more give a man the right to rape her then a man's slutting gives a woman the right to castrate him.
In this case, (or at least my interpretation of this picture) it looks like the women were having an affair and the husband of the dark haired girl is about to get very very lucky and get every man's threesome wish come true, but in general an affair will just lead to bloodshed, Lol.
Now, of course, anyone who's read my blog knows that I like sexual play that is closer to rape then most women like... I like whips and bruises. I like to be tied up or forced down and to feel like a man is taking control of me. However, I like this play (along with all other women I know that like this play) with my safeword in place and being respected. I like my "rape" fantasies played out under MY rules and MY terms. I love to have a man take me... in the comfort and safety of my bedroom with a man I trust and love, not in the backseat of his SUV because he can't take no for an answer. I love to be bruised the next day from his hands... because I've asked him to spank my naughty ass not because I wouldn't stop struggling and it was the only way he could get me to settle down long enough to get off in me.
I have found that women who were raped usually fall in to two categories sexually... they either want nothing to do with any sexual play that reminds them of the incident - which really makes the most sense to me. Or they turn out like me - super kinky chicks who like it rougher then most women ever like it. However, the very nature of most consensual rough play is the opposite of the man raping the woman, in fact, the woman is the one in complete control at all times and SHE says yes/no, stop/go. I think that it's because they need to relive the incident in a way that puts them in control of the situation - and/or the rape incident that she lived through did result in an orgasm on her part and hence something was rewired in her brain to link the rape situation with orgasm and she is trying to recreate that rush in a safe environment.

So, to sum it up here. Women can dress however the heck they want and men do not have the right nor even the excuse to rape them - or sexually assault them - or touch them - or anything beside fantasize about them in their dirty minds. EVEN if it is Halloween. It may make my day when I catch a guy looking at me in the way I know he's fantasizing. It's very flattering to be appreciated as a woman and as a sex object. But, there is a major difference between an appreciating look and rape, and if a person thinks otherwise, they are lacking something that is vital to their very humanity.

Halloween is an awesome time of year! When else can you see a costume like this out on the streets? So much fun to look at, just don't touch unless she verbally asks!


  1. Very well said. As you saw on my blog, people still can't get this through their heads. You even responded to someone who clearly couldn't. I really just don't even understand WHY people are so fucking dumb sometimes. Ugh, some of those responses just really irritated me! >.<

  2. Glad you liked my blog! I enjoyed reading yours too! I can understand why you'd be frustrated. I think that any female would be at some of those comments your blog got - most people are just plain ridiculous most of the time.

  3. While reading your post it provokes my mind to consider all the attitudes that people have about modesty. I define modesty as conformity and it's desirable in *some* cases, but, most of the time, it's best for us to be pushing our own personal brand. People can tolerate conformists, but they can't look up to them. It's hard to appreciate what you can't see.

    While it's hardly an excuse for the rapist, attractive people will have to consider for themselves when they want to wear their trench coat with the fedora tipped down to hide their face and when they want to take it off and allow people to explore their skin with their eyes. When I spot a gorgeous woman. I love to drink with my eyes and pretend I'm not drinking. I appreciate every sip.

    One way or the other, floating about the world, wearing as little as possible is a bold statement. It declares liberation from fear, a trust in the universe, and this is spectacular. Who will bring a future of peace? It's those unique individuals that care enough to wear less. The more of them there are, the less rapists will be able to excuse their own behavior. Rape will be a thing of the past.

    Keep blogging. ( :

  4. Thank you! I am glad you enjoy my blog! I appreciate new readers and commentators.

    I totally agree that there are times for modesty, church, classes, even the grocery store aren't truly places for slut-wear. I personally only dress that way if I am going out to a bar/club/party where dressing a little sexually is accepted if not even expected. And, when I do, I love it when a guy drinks me in ... I don't dress for myself and I don't dress for the ladies, I do it for the male attention.

    Now I don't expect them to treat me the same when I'm wearing snowpants and a parka as when I'm dressed like a whore, but I do expect simple human respect and decency and not to be raped. But, unfortunately, this is something that many of the boys on Serena's blog seem to think is way too much to expect from them.

    I like your take on it, if all women dressed as the sexual beings that they are, then no man would have their clothing to use as an excuse for rape.