When I traveled to Munich, Germany, we stayed in an area that had strip clubs on every street- literally. A travel partner informed me that this meant we must be “staying in the bad part of town” - seriously doubtful. The “bad” section would not have been the blocks surrounding the major train station for the city. It is just the German (probably the European) way of life. American’s can be such prudes. For a nation founded on the idea of personal freedom and… anyways that’s a tangent to get into another day.
My travel companion also made little comments about how demeaning to women that kind of work is. She is a fundamentalist christian and very religious; she would avert her face when passing one of these “dens of inequities.” I just don’t see how some people can view anything sexual as demeaning towards women. Any woman who has embraced her own sexuality knows that it’s actually quite the opposite of demeaning; it’s very empowering. Knowing that a man wants you (and knowing that you, as the woman, have all the control as to whether he gets what he wants) is a very ego-boosting experience.
Any women who view sexuality as “against” women have major issues. Organized religion is the greatest perverter of sex that there is in this world.When I think of all the things that are preached about that are designed to twist and demonize something loving and beautiful… but that is yet another rabbit trail to chase some other day.
Heck, if I could, I would moonlight as a stripper, I think it would be an awesome side job. Being a size 22 with DDDs/Fs doesn’t lend itself to dancing on a 3 inch pole, but I haven’t had problems with getting men to do what I want in a long, long time. A look, a touch, a soft word spoken against his ear in a crowded room - the level of confidence that I love in a man is the same confidence that gets me what I want from him. Stare at men and men stare back, check them out and check you out, talk comes more freely once you make it clear you’re not afraid of sex.
Personally, I don’t consider strip clubs as cheating. Tho I know lots of women who do. They think that a man might as well bring another woman home and fuck her in front of them as go to a strip club for the evening. I think it shows massive insecurity for a woman to look at strip clubs that way.
Now I know that my opinion in the section below will differ from most peoples, but that’s ok, I never shy away from being the odd duck…
Back to strippers and whores; I was watching the news one evening and I watched a segment on prostitutes in Iraq and the dangers they face. Most of them are married women whose families’ need more money. They would be executed if the security forces find them out - and their husbands could kill them without consequence if they caught wind of the indiscretions. Yet they still choose to trade their bodies for bread money- and the men of the country still pay for them.
That same evening I flipped the channel and there was a whole twenty minutes about some politician and his “whore-mongering.” The reporter was very adamant about using the term “whore” to describe these women- even after the girls’ lawyer asked the reporter to use the term “escort” instead. Now in the case of the politician, it seems that he has a deeper addictive issue then simply using an “escort” once in awhile. But, as a general issue I don’t see how his sex life really has anything to do with us as the public.
People can have such a narrow view of “the worlds oldest profession” (as the newscaster called it). How can we have such strong proponents for abortion claiming that a woman’s body is hers to do with what she likes- and yet not allow prostitution? How can the government, while all other moral issues such as gay marriage, sodomy, etc… are being legalized, yet they still mandate against this one “moral” issue? Why aren’t more people speaking out against this discrepancy? How can it be legal to tell a woman she cannot have sex with a man if he is giving her cash afterward? Plenty of women sleep with a man because of the jewelry, or vacations, or flowers a man offers… how is it just a trade for greenbacks that makes the sex illegal?
Personally I do not even consider prostitutes cheating. Men need sex - like serious NEED it. While I am a much more sexual then most women that I know, and usually want it more then my man when I’m in a relationship, even I am not in the mood every day. And, if my man needed some strange occasionally, I would much prefer he hire an “escort” then start an affair with the neighbor lady.
I understand that most men (and some women) can separate love and sex … that sex can honestly be just physical pleasure. If my man needs to just get physical with someone new once in awhile (as long as he affords me the same freedom), I am more then willing to let him pay for some affection (and even other arrangements are ok, but that’s for another blog). In this scenario, prostitution, there is no “other woman” in our relationship - there is no threat to us. It is just a business arrangement - same as him going to a restaurant even tho I can cook for him.
I was amazed to learn from that newscast the amount of money that these escort girls make! The average wage was $500 an hour for these women. And, that’s only about one quarter of what the client is actually paying to the “escort service” (a point the lawyer was lamenting, but still… $500 an hour is nothing to complain about in my opinion). It’s just that cash exchange that makes their behavior illegal. Personally I’ve always thought that if I was to go into that line of business it would be a good idea to make a man give me jewelry and the receipt… this way it can be claimed as “just a gift to a ‘date’,” yet I have the option of returning the bauble and having the cash. I’m sure that’s not really a legal loophole, but it seems like it should be…
I read voraciously. One of my favorite series (actually the few series that I buy every new book the same day that it comes out in hardcover) is the “In Death” series by J.D. Robb. It’s set in the mid-21st century, and the futuristic world is pretty much unrecognizable from today - and very cool. One of the things that is so different in her world are their views on prostitution. In this series, J.D. Robb has created the profession of “licensed companion” - these people are exactly what you think: prostitutes. But they are regulated by the government, medically tested monthly, and their jobs are viewed as simply another service industry.You can find a licensed companion of either gender who has been specially trained to service any need or fetish you may have; most of them are highly educated, clean, and respected.
This licensing system seems much saner then having any sort of consensual sex be an illegal act. We should try to move towards implementing this type of legal system towards sex… or perhaps the very fact that it’s illegal is part of its draw…